I feel

At some point in our lives, anxiety is a sensation we all encounter - a rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and shortness of breath, feeling on edge, irritable, or easily overwhelmed. Anxiety often acts as a normal and even helpful response during stressful times, aiding in our ability to cope. Sometimes anxiety is clear cut and easy to identify, while for others it has more subtle ways that it shows itself, such as:

- Relationships: at work building and maintaining relationships with employees, stakeholders, and other executives is crucial. Anxiety may impact communication, collaboration, and the ability to establish a good rapport with others. While on a personal level, anxiety can strain relationships where they may struggle with communication, trust issues, or excessive reassurance-seeking. It can also lead to withdrawal of social activities or avoidance of certain situations, limiting connections with others.

- Need for structure and certainty: anxiety leads individuals to adhere to routines/schedules or exhibit a strong need for control over their environment, relationships, or circumstances, becoming agitated when they feel a loss of control. Individuals may engage in extensive planning and preparation for future events, seeking to anticipate and mitigate potential risks or uncertainties.

- Decision-making at work: anxiety can impair the ability to make clear and rational decisions. It may lead to overthinking, second-guessing, or avoidance of decision-making altogether, which can hinder effective leadership. It can interfere with concentration, and may also contribute to procrastination, perfectionism, or difficulty meeting deadlines.

- Sleep: anxiety can lead to difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing restful sleep. This can result in fatigue, decreased energy levels, and difficulties with concentration and productivity during the day.

- Physical health: anxiety can also manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, rapid heartbeat, sweating, and gastrointestinal issues. Prolonged anxiety can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of developing other health problems.

- Work-life balance: high achieving individuals often have demanding schedules and face constant pressure to achieve success. Because individuals don’t know how to switch off, they are more prone to burnout, and consequently their tolerance to handle stress becomes diminished over time.

Anxiety that manifests over intense and prolonged periods that, if left untreated, may develop into an anxiety disorder, such as:
- General Anxiety Disorder
- Social Anxiety
- Panic Disorder

Therapy for anxiety
High quality therapy can alleviate much, if not all, of the distress, as well as enhancing an individual’s ability to recognise and manage normal expressions of anxiety. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is considered a first-line treatment for many anxiety disorders and is recommended as a standalone treatment or in combination with medication for certain individuals. CBT has enduring benefits and lower rates of relapse compared to medication, particularly for individuals with recurrent anxiety disorders.

Please note I don’t work with other forms of anxiety such as: obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), hoarding, agoraphobia, health anxiety, specific phobias.

The symptoms of depression can range from mild to severe. Feeling upset or sad occasionally is a common experience for everyone. However, if these emotions become persistent, overwhelming, or start to interfere with your daily life, it could be a sign of a depressive disorder. Depression has the ability to seem all-consuming and never ending, it can be extremely powerful and unbearable for many people who believe they will feel that way forever. Depression should not be dismissed as a sign of weakness or something that can be easily overcome by sheer willpower.

High-functioning depression is a subtype of depression and a serious mental health condition. It characterised by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or low mood, often accompanied by other depressive symptoms, yet individuals affected by it are able to maintain their daily functioning to some extent. Unlike major depressive disorder, which involves severe and episodic depressive episodes, high-functioning depression typically involves chronic, milder symptoms.

Some common symptoms of high-functioning depression include:
- Mood swings: ongoing feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, which can fluctuate in intensity but persist over an extended period.

- Loss of pleasure: ‘anhedonia’ or the inability to experience pleasure from activities that were once enjoyable, is a common symptom of depression. Even though individuals experiencing high-functioning depression may continue to engage in activities, they may derive less satisfaction from them.

- Impaired concentration: impaired cognitive functions such as concentration, memory, and decision-making. Individuals may find it challenging to focus or perform at their usual level, but they can still manage to meet their obligations.

- Less socialising: while individuals may maintain social connections, they may also withdraw from social activities or isolate themselves at times, feeling disconnected from others or fearing that they will be judged if they express their true emotions.

- Emotional avoidance: many individuals experiencing depression engage in emotional avoidance, suppressing or denying their feelings rather than confronting them.

- Self-criticism: negative self-talk and themes of worthlessness, incompetence, or unlovability are common features of depression. Individuals can appear successful or competent on the outside, but they may harbor deep-seated feelings of self-doubt.

- Poor physical health: depression can manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain, even in the absence of a clear medical cause.

Therapy for high functioning depression
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is widely considered one of the most effective talking therapies for depression. The effectiveness of CBT for depression is equal to that of antidepressant medication, with both showing significant benefits for many individuals. CBT has been associated with enduring benefits and lower rates of relapse compared to antidepressant medication, particularly for individuals with recurrent depression. While antidepressants can be more effective in reducing acute symptoms. Working closely with a highly qualified psychologist or psychiatrist can help determine the most appropriate therapy for depression and tailor it to the person’s unique circumstances.

Some individuals may doubt their accomplishments, abilities, or talents and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud” who does not deserve their position, despite evidence of their competence. Those experiencing impostor syndrome often attribute their success to luck or external factors rather than acknowledging their own skills and efforts. They may constantly compare themselves to others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and a constant fear of being “found out.”

The different types of imposter syndrome are not mutually exclusive, and individuals may exhibit characteristics of multiple types:
- ‘The perfectionist’: those who set extremely high standards for themselves and feel like failures if they don’t meet those standards. They may dwell on minor mistakes and view them as evidence of incompetence, even when others perceive their work as excellent.

- ‘The superwoman/man’: feel the need to excel in all areas of their lives (such as work, relationships, & personal achievements). They often push themselves to the point of burnout and feel like they are constantly falling short in one or more areas.

- ‘The natural genius’: believe that their worth is solely based on their ability to effortlessly master new skills/tasks. They tend to feel inadequate and experience imposter feelings when they encounter challenges or have to put in effort to succeed.

- ‘The soloist’: prefer to work alone and believe that they must accomplish everything on their own to prove their competence. As a result, they may feel like imposters when they need to rely on others or ask for help.

- ‘The expert’: feel the need to know everything before considering taking on a task or project. They are afraid of being exposed as inexperienced or lacking knowledge, so they may hesitate to ask questions or seek help, fearing it will reveal their supposed inadequacy.

- ‘The Novice’: they feel like they are frauds because they lack experience or formal qualifications in their field. They may discount their accomplishments and feel like they don’t belong, especially if they compare themselves to more experienced colleagues.

Therapy for imposter syndrome
The most appropriate type of therapy for reducing imposter syndrome may vary depending on individual preferences, the underlying factors contributing to imposter feelings, and the specific goals of therapy.

Mindsets in therapy refer to the deeply ingrained beliefs that we hold about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Mindsets influence how we perceive and interpret our experiences, as well as how we approach challenges, cope with setbacks, and interact with others. In a limiting or fixed mindset, individuals believe that their abilities, intelligence, and personality traits are static and unchangeable. They may avoid challenges, fear failure, and interpret setbacks as evidence of personal limitations. Therapy aims to help individuals adopt a growth mindset, which promotes resilience, optimism, and a willingness to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, which persists in the face of setbacks.

Therapy for limiting mindsets
With Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) individuals can develop greater self-awareness, cognitive flexibility, and empowerment in managing their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. Therapy provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals to recognise and explore beliefs and attitudes about themselves, others, and the world.

Individuals with healthy self-esteem tend to have positive self-regard, a sense of self-worth, believe in their abilities, and feel deserving of respect from others. They absorb far less of the chaos around them, and know how not to take things personally. On the other hand, low self-esteem is marked by negative self-perceptions, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness. Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle with self-criticism, fear of failure, and difficulty asserting themselves in social or professional situations.

Symptoms of low self-esteem can manifest in various ways such as:
- Self-criticism: engaging in frequent negative self-talk, focusing on perceived flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. Individuals take criticism personally and feeling deeply affected by negative feedback.

- Self-doubt: individuals may doubt their competence, intelligence, or attractiveness, leading to hesitation and indecision.

- Less socialising: avoiding social interactions or feeling uncomfortable in social settings. They may fear rejection or judgment from others and may isolate themselves to avoid potential negative experiences.

- Seeking validation: seeking constant validation and approval from others to bolster their sense of self-worth.

- Avoidance of challenges: a fear of failure or rejection, causing individuals to avoid challenges or opportunities for growth.

- Lack of assertiveness: difficulties setting boundaries in relationships, and individuals may neglect their own needs and preferences in order to avoid conflict or rejection.

- Low mood and anxiety: feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness can contribute to depressive symptoms, while constant worry and fear of judgment can exacerbate anxiety.

Therapy for low self-esteem
Compassionate Focussed Therapy (CFT) can help to cultivate healthy self-esteem, involving developing self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion, as well as fostering supportive relationships and engaging in activities that promote personal growth and fulfilment.

Striving for perfection can be a double-edged sword. While it can drive success, it can also lead to excessive self-criticism, unrealistic expectations, a fear of failure, and an inability to appreciate one’s achievements. Individuals with unrelenting standards may constantly strive for perfection in various aspects of their lives, such as work, relationships, and personal achievements, and may struggle with feelings of inadequacy when they are unable to meet these expectations. This often results in increased stress, anxiety, and difficulty relaxing. It can also hinder productivity and creativity, as the fear of making mistakes or not meeting expectations can prevent individuals from taking risks or trying new things. Additionally, perfectionism can strain relationships, as the focus on perfection may lead to unrealistic expectations of others and difficulty in accepting imperfections. Overall, it can have significant negative impacts on mental health, well-being, and overall quality of life.

Therapy for perfectionism
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can target the root cause and behaviours that maintain this ‘all or nothing’ mindset, leading to improved well-being. It is important to strive for excellence while also recognizing the importance of self-compassion and flexibility in order to maintain a healthy balance.

The influence of our relationships on us is profound, they can either be the highlight or the lowest point of our lives. In every relationship, there are three components: what you bring, what the other person contributes, and the interaction between the two. Relationships often become intricate, marked by misinterpretations that can leave us feeling hurt and distant from those we aim to connect with.

Challenges can impact various types of relationships, such as romantic partnerships, family relationships, friendships, and work relationships. Some of the most common reasons individuals come to therapy are:
- Lack of assertiveness
- People pleasing tendencies
- Dating anxiety
- Trust issues
- Sensitivity to rejection or criticism
- Thinking their reactions to others are out of proportion to the situation
- Life transitions: relocation, job loss, partner mental health issues, or financial strain

Therapy for relationships
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Schema Therapy (ST) can help individuals navigate these challenges and develop healthier relationship dynamics. While you can’t change another person, you can change your own responses and behaviours toward that person, which can have a powerful effect on how that relationship operates. Please note I do not offer couples therapy.

Self-criticism refers to the act of evaluating and judging oneself in a negative or disapproving manner. It involves being overly harsh and critical towards one’s own thoughts, actions, or characteristics, often focusing on perceived flaws or mistakes. This often stems from early life experiences and manifests as an inner critic. Many individuals who engage in self-criticism have unrealistic and unattainable standards for themselves, leading to a cycle of negative self-evaluation and self-blame. Self-criticism can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, shame, anxiety, and depression.

Therapy for self-criticism
In therapy, the goal is to help individuals identify and challenge these negative self-critical beliefs, and shift from self-criticism to compassionate self-correction, leading to greater emotional resilience, improved self-esteem, and a more positive outlook on life.

Stress is considered problematic when it becomes chronic or overwhelming, as it can have negative effects on both physical and mental health. Chronic stress can weaken the immune system, increase the risk of developing various physical health conditions, and depression. Stress can impact cognitive functioning, memory, and decision-making abilities, leading to decreased productivity and well-being.

Busy, ambitious individuals often experience high levels of stress due to the immense responsibilities and pressures associated with their positions. This can lead to burnout, often including emotional exhaustion, reduced productivity, and a sense of detachment. It can manifest as excessive worry, fear, and difficulty managing stressful situations in both professional and personal settings.

Therapy for stress
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help individuals to learn to reframe negative thinking and develop healthier ways of responding to stress, so they can improve their ability to handle challenging situations and reduce the impact of stress on their mental well-being.